ups and downs

It’s been exactly one year since I first set foot in an integrative medicine practice. It was the first time a medical professional looked me in the eye and promised to figure out the source of my ever increasing symptoms after over a decade of shrugs from traditional medicine practitioners. This year has been a wild ride full of highs and lows and plenty of things I never even imagined a year ago. But amid the ups and downs, I’m so grateful to be in good medical hands with someone who lets me be a partner in my treatment decisions and continues to dig deeper to heal the root causes of my illness. Here’s your sign to stop seeing the doctor that doesn’t take you seriously and put in the work to find one that does. It’s so worth it!

The last few weeks have been full of tests and medication adjustments. It seems like constant titration is my new normal. After all these appointments, don’t be alarmed if I automatically say my date of birth when introducing myself. I definitely pulled out my insurance card instead of my debit card at the gas pump last week, though both are getting a major workout right now. While all of these appointments, lab tests, and follow ups are important, it sure does make for some big time ups and downs as I process findings from each one. 

Up: My hair is growing again! And it’s falling out at a slower rate for now! It didn’t budge in length for over two months due to the stress of mold treatment. My body had more important survival functions on which to focus. Vanity was not on the top of that list. I’ve never been so happy to see those grays finally popping up at my roots. 

Down: Fatigue! So much fatigue. I can sleep for over 9 hours and yet still wake up tired. While I physically feel better and have less pain than I did a few months ago, there’s very little gas in the tank. I’ve never been a napper before all of this but going horizontal is now a necessary part of every day. I’m finally coming to terms with that and adjusting my former “napping is weakness” philosophy.

Up: With a couple of adjustments to meds, my thyroid is getting so close to being right. Upping one more this week and hoping for the best.

Down: My thyroid will be a moving target every 8 weeks for at least the next year and every few months beyond that. Since Hashimoto’s Disease means my body is attacking my thyroid gland, it will continue to lose function as I age until it’s totally dead. But until then, I’ll be constantly testing and adjusting meds. Those meds can have a big impact on how I feel so swings are to be expected but certainly won’t be enjoyed. 

Up: My blood sugar numbers are fantastic! I get to start titrating down off insulin now and I couldn’t be happier about that!  

Down: It’s a long process to go down safely and could take at least through the end of the year to get all the way off. Massively frustrating! (Yes, patience still eludes me.) 

Up: My shoes fit again! You can see my ankle bones! And I can even wear a ring on some days. With the lowering of inflammation, so much swelling has disappeared.

Down: Heat is not my friend. Swelling pops right back up (though nothing as bad a January) when I get too hot. A Shibumi is now required and has been acquired for upcoming beach days. A combination of meds and my wonky body has put an end to my endless days of sun worshipping.

Up: My heart looks great! All tests came back with zero concerns and my arteries are clear of any plaque. My cholesterol is trending lower than it has in years, largely due to inflammation going way down. The body makes cholesterol to protect itself from inflammation. After years of not knowing why my inflammation numbers were increasing (if only my primary care dr understood mold!), my cholesterol started to follow suit. But now, it’s right on target! Plus I got to educate yet another medical professional in the cardiology dept about mold toxicity. Once again, they had no idea. 

Down: despite a practically perfect heart report, the cardiologist still suggested I start taking a statin. WHAT?! Thankfully, I knew that statins are often pushed on patients unnecessarily so I came prepared to fend her off. I asked for a medical reason why I needed that drug given the good news I’ve just learned about my heart. There wasn’t one. Not a single one! She just likes statins (no kidding, that was her response…”I like them”.) Um… no thank you! I later found out from my integrative doctor that statins are made of mycotoxins (aka mold!!). My body could not tolerate a statin and it would most certainly do more harm than good, especially with zero medical need. If you need a reminder to be your own advocate in health care, here it is! Dr. Google can sometimes be a dangerous rabbit hole, but I’ll never go into an appointment unprepared after this last year. That prescription could have been devastating to my body and my progress. (yet another reason all doctors should learn about mold toxicity.)

Up: As of today, I can start mold treatment again! Hallelujah! I’ll get back to my schedule of rebounder trampoline, infrared sauna, and epsom salt baths pronto! Of course, I’ll keep a watchful eye on my blood sugar to make sure I don’t stress my body too much. I’m also starting a stronger binder to help me make up for some lost time. I want to do as much as possible while I’m not working. 

Down: I’ll feel crummy again for a while as I get those mycotoxins moving. Not as bad as February, thankfully. But it likely won’t be fun and will cause some unpleasant side effects. Back to “no pain, no gain” for a bit. 

Up: my integrative doctor is so proud of me for the hard work I’m putting into getting these numbers right and feeling better. Gold star patient here!! 

Down: there’s still such a long road ahead. At the beginning, I was told to expect 9 months to 2 years for this process. My overachiever self thought I’d surely get this knocked out within the year. But reality is setting in and I’m coming to terms with the fact that this is a long, long journey to health with a ton of potholes and detours along the way. 

In the meantime, I’m enjoying as much life as possible between naps. I’ve spent good time with my amazing friends. How anyone does this without supportive friends as good as mine will forever be a mystery. I attended my niece’s dance recital and my grandmother’s 92nd birthday party, both of which I usually miss due to working in Montreat. I’ve helped with the installation service of a long time friend as she officially starts her new pastorate in Durham. I’ve been at the beach a lot with more to come with our annual family vacation starting next week. 

Keeping up with medicine changes, various pharmacies and supplement providers, endless appointments, and specifically timed drugs throughout the day, all while constantly monitoring my blood sugar as well as every gram of protein, fat, and carbs I eat is a lot! (A. LOT.) There is no Sabbath from that. I don’t get to take a break from this life of constant vigilance and also be successful at managing chronic illness. It’s just not an option.

But if I think about it like that for too long, it all becomes one big major downer. Thankfully, the ups keep me going and working toward the goal of good health, even though it’s a longer process than I’d prefer. My experience in coaching has taught me that it’s vital to celebrate every win no matter how small. So, for now, I begin each day by checking out those tiny little gray hairs starting to pop up from my scalp and frizz around my hairline and I focus on having gratitude for the progress.  It looks nothing like I thought it would, so I will take all the ups I can get. 

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How can you help? 

• There are lots of products I need that can be gifted. Check out the updated amazon wish list here. 
• Send me your best obscure streaming show that I haven’t heard of but would love. 
• Send me your best book recommendations or loan me your favorites. 
• And of course, I welcome hilarious jokes, memes, or stories from your life. I hope friends will keep me laughing. Tell me what’s happening in your world!  Don’t expect a call back – just know I’m deeply grateful to be connected to you.